Holding On to Love in a Time of Uncertainty

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“The familiar is dying.” — Thomas Hübl

We are living in a time of deep and disorienting uncertainty. Not just individually, but collectively—across social systems, economic structures, and our very planet. Neuroscientist Dr. Lisa Feldman Barrett has said that the greatest threat to brain health is excess stress and anxiety, primarily due to uncertainty. And right now, uncertainty is everywhere.

From the climate crisis to political polarization, from the cost of living to global instability—it’s not just that we’re stressed. It’s that our entire nervous systems are inundated with unpredictability.

And uncertainty, to the human brain, feels like danger.

The Biology of Certainty (and What Happens Without It)

Our bodies are built to predict. On a moment-to-moment basis, our nervous systems try to anticipate what’s coming next in order to maintain internal balance—homeostasis.

For example, when we see or smell sweet food, our bodies begin preparing for an incoming rise in blood sugar before we’ve even taken a bite. But when we consume artificial sweeteners, our brains receive signals of sweetness—without the actual sugar. The body prepares for sugar anyway, but when none comes, the body is thrown off. Over time, this leads to mistrust in our internal cues. Stress rises. Chaos increases. Eventually, systems break down.

This is a small example—but it mirrors something much larger.

So much in our modern lives now mimics the familiar without delivering its promise. We’re surrounded by systems, products, and even relationships that look like comfort, security, or pleasure, but deliver confusion, stress, or harm instead.

It’s no wonder so many of us feel disoriented.

“For some of us, the familiar dangles its empty promises of comfort, continuity, safety, and well-being. For others, the familiar is composed of oppression, inequity, polarization and war.” — Thomas Hübl

To cope with uncertainty, our societies have created systems, rules, and routines meant to offer predictability. But the truth is, even the familiar can become a source of suffering. It can stagnate us.

Author Cylvia Hayes once said, “Like rivers, we humans fill with sludge when we allow ourselves to resist the flow of life.” She reminds us that the opposite of life isn’t death—it’s stagnation.

So where does that leave us?

Between Certainty and Chaos

Humans need both stability and novelty. Certainty so we can rest and recover. Uncertainty so we can grow and evolve. The challenge isn’t avoiding one or the other—it’s learning to navigate the dance between them.

When uncertainty arises within our control, we can meet it with resilience and creativity. But when it’s beyond our control—climate change, war, injustice—we often shift into trauma responses: numbness, denial, defensiveness, or despair.

And trauma doesn’t create change. It may bring a sense of predictability, but it also reinforces the past and suppresses the future.

To face the truly complex problems of our time, especially those rooted in collective systems, we must do the inner work to resolve old trauma. Only then can we access the creativity needed to forge new paths forward.

Grief as a Gateway

Lately, I’ve been moving through waves of grief so deep they’ve left me disoriented. It’s not tied to one event—it’s more like a quiet mourning for the sacred beauty I feel is being lost.

I believe I’m grieving on behalf of the collective—the Earth, the future, the innocence that is slipping away.

And yet, I also know this: I can’t control what’s happening outside me. I could look away, distract myself, or harden to the pain—but that feels like betrayal. I see people doing this, and I understand why. But I also know: the answer isn’t there. Nor is it in being consumed by fear.

And it’s certainly not in shutting down emotions and relying on logic alone.

The Answer Is Still Love

“Life is a marvelous mixture of well-being and woe.” — Julian of Norwich

“When you are joyous, look deep into your heart and you shall find it is only that which has given you sorrow that is giving you joy… When you are sorrowful, look again in your heart, and you shall see that you are weeping for that which has been your delight.” — Kahlil Gibran, The Prophet

These teachings remind me that joy and grief are inseparable. That the depth of one reveals the depth of the other.

And modern science agrees.

The Harvard Study of Adult Development, a 70-year longitudinal study, found that happiness and fulfillment weren’t correlated with wealth, status, or intelligence—but with love. When asked what truly made life worth living, Dr. George Vaillant, who led the study, replied simply:

“Love. Full stop.”

Ancient Wisdom Meets Modern Neuroscience

So this is where I land, again and again: Love is the answer.

Not a soft, naïve love—but a fierce, honest one. A love that doesn’t look away. A love that listens. A love that shows up—messy and real—in times of uncertainty.

Instead of retreating from empathy, we must run toward it.

Ask yourself: