Arthur Brooks, in his insightful book Love Your Enemies, argues that we live in an addictive culture of contempt. He suggests that if we consciously and intentionally generate loving-kindness in our own hearts, we can not only free ourselves from that addiction but also positively influence the world around us.
I couldn’t agree more.
From a neuroscientific perspective, Brooks’ idea makes perfect sense. Negative emotions like contempt, anger, and disgust are born from the body’s stress response—a reaction to perceived threat. When we feel threatened, our nervous system automatically prepares to defend. Contempt feels powerful in that moment because it gives us a sense of righteous justification. But while it may feel momentarily satisfying, it’s deeply corrosive—both to our wellbeing and to our relationships.
The Hot Potato of Contempt
Contempt is, at its core, a blend of anger and disgust. And like any contagious emotion, it spreads fast. When someone directs contempt toward us, it triggers shame—one of the most painful emotions a person can feel. In an effort to escape that pain, we often pass it on. A dismissive glance, a sarcastic remark, a judgmental thought… and suddenly, the contagion continues.
It’s like a hot potato no one wants to hold, so we keep tossing it around.
We see this everywhere: in politics, on social media, in families, even in ourselves. It’s the emotional undercurrent behind much of the division and exhaustion so many people feel today.
The Neuroscience of Emotional Contagion
The science confirms what our hearts already know: emotions are contagious. Negative emotions—especially fear and contempt—activate the body’s stress chemistry, releasing cortisol and adrenaline that prime us for defense. When we’re in that reactive state, the higher regions of the brain responsible for empathy and wisdom literally go offline.
We lose access to our best selves.
But here’s the good news: positive emotions are also contagious—and far more powerful energetically. Love, kindness, appreciation, and compassion create physiological states that restore harmony in the body and entrain coherence in others.
Heart Coherence: The Physics of Love
The pioneering research at HeartMath Institute, led by Dr. Rollin McCraty, shows that when we intentionally cultivate positive emotions, our heart rhythms become more coherent—smooth, ordered, and harmonious. This heart coherence creates a coherent electromagnetic field that extends several feet beyond the body and can influence others nearby.
Even more remarkably, HeartMath’s Global Coherence Initiative has found correlations between collective heart coherence and shifts in Earth’s magnetic field, as well as changes in nonlocal random number generators and even the physiological rhythms of trees.
In other words, your love is not just a feeling—it’s a frequency that can ripple across the planet.
When Gandhi said, “Be the change you want to see in the world,” I invite you to translate that as:
Be the vibe you want to see in the world.
Why It’s Hard to Access Love When We’re Stressed
The challenge is that love and kindness don’t arise naturally when we’re in a threat state. To access them, we need to interrupt the automatic stress responses that keep us reactive.
That’s why I teach methods like the Sage Mind Generator Program and rREST® (rapid reprogramming of emotional stress technique). These neuroscience-based tools help calm the nervous system, dissolve unconscious stress patterns, and open access to our Sage Mind—the part of us capable of empathy, curiosity, creativity, and peace.
When our stress reactions subside, heart coherence becomes natural. Love becomes our default.
Join the Coherence Movement
On Monday, November 17th at 8:30am, Tuesday, November 18th at 6:30pm, and Wednesday, November 19th at 2:00 pm 2025 (Pacific Time), I’ll be guiding a free Heart Coherence Meditation on Zoom. Together, we’ll use HeartMath’s Global Coherence App to connect our hearts in real time and contribute to a wave of positive resonance around the planet. Choose your best time or join us for all. Contact me directly for details and updates.
Whether you join live or simply pause at that time to send out love, compassion, and appreciation, know that your coherence matters. It’s measurable. It’s powerful. It’s healing.
When we intentionally choose to cultivate love over contempt, coherence over chaos, we don’t just change our mood—we change the field.
So take a breath. Place your hand over your heart. Feel appreciation for something or someone you love.
Be the vibe you want to see in the world.
You might just change it.
💖
Cindy Sholes, Ph.D.
Transformational Neuroscientist | Founder of Mind Wave Institute
